Monday, April 9, 2012

Bed Rest

I've been away from my blog for almost two weeks now, and for good reason. Much to my dismay, I had an unexpected episode with my pregnancy on March 31, 2012 at 20 weeks, 5 days into my twin pregnancy. During a Saturday afternoon nap, I discovered that the water broke on the boy's gestational sac (this shouldn't happen until delivery time) and this condition is a very rare one called PPROM. I will spare you the details, but the prognosis is not good. I'm told to prepare for the very worst. Doctors cannot explain why it happens, but are quick to tell you how serious of a condition it is, urging you to terminate immediately. Needless to say, it's been a rough 10 days and I'm on bed rest for an indefinite amount of time. To put it bluntly, I'll be here until the babies are out of me, dead or alive, in a week from now or in 13 weeks from now.


Of course this had to happen just days before my scheduled trip to the US where I was going to spend time with family in New York City, and then to DC before going to a baby moon in Cancun. All plans were cancelled. Instead, I've been here at Hadassah Mount Scopus Hospital in the High Risk wing, which just so happens to be down the street from my house. So, at least my husband is close by, visiting me every morning and every night.


Being here has been an experience already. Meeting all kinds of people, hearing all kinds of stories and seeing all kinds of things first hand. I try to take it day by day and try to keep my mind off what could happen. Instead of celebrating Passover with family in their Hamptons getaway, I had a once-in-a-lifetime seder at the hospital with a group of 20-something other patients and some of their family members.


I'd swore I'd never be in Israel for Pesach again. Everything is closed, the food is awful and the country is flocked with tourists for Passover and Easter. Lucky me, not only am I in Israel again for Passover, but I'm in an Israeli hospital for Passover too. Take a look at what I mean. I don't think this is exactly what pregnant women have in mind for three meals a day:

 

Living quarters are cramped, three women to a room with curtain barriers. I've cleaned up a little but this is generally what my current space looks like. Good thing I'm an adaptable person (and I really can't complain because health care is covered here, thus thank G-d for socialized health care).  I'm keeping myself busy and have been here already 10 days. In an ideal world, I'd be here another 100 days or so (that would be 35 weeks pregnant). In reality, I know this is wishful thinking. Just taking it one day at a time. My situation, as I've been told, is grave. I'm doing my best to avoid the negativity and to try to be hopeful and to pray for continued health.


Things could change at any moment. Today is Birkat Hakohanim, a day of praying for miracles amidst the Passover holiday during which the greatest miracle of all occurred. I'm praying for my own miracle. If you were at the wall today, this is what you would see, everyone there praying for their own individual miracles:



As you might imagine I'm not going to be "around" much on the blog but maybe will make some appearances in order to keep my mind distracted. Thanks for your prayers and support.

10 comments:

  1. Erin, I am so sorry although that word doesn't seem to do this situation justice. My heart is aching for you right now and I will think of you and pray for you every minute of every day.

    I'm stunned and in such despair that you have these complications! Please let me know if there's anything I can do...wish I was there with you to chat. Give our best to your husband too.

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  2. Thank you Devon for your comment. I was feeling just fine (and really I still feel physically fine) and then the water broke out of nowhere. I didn't even know what it was at first. I waited an hour before it happened again in a 2nd gush and thought "okay, now I better go get this checked out". Didn't even realize your water could break this early! So long as I don't develop infection, go into early labor or develop some other sort of problem, then I want to try to wait this out. It's really scary that it's out of my control and I'm reading tons of stories of women who had this same condition. Hoping for the best. Thanks for praying for me and thinking of me!!

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  3. Everyone we know is praying for you all. I feel so badly that I'm not there to comfort you. Just get to 100 days & I'll be there (if you want me). Xoxoxoxox

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  4. Hi Erin - I don't know you, but I've been following your blog because my husband and I just moved to Israel. It's been so helpful so far and nice to read your archives and feel like someone understands all the changes we're going through. I wanted to reach out and say that I am thinking of you! This sounds like a tough time, but you seem like a strong, smart woman! I will keep sending good vibes your way!

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    1. Hi Jessica, thanks for reading - and commenting! I'm holding on over here, but not too motivated to keep up the blog since I'm not "out there" in the world to enjoy the events :) Mazal tov on moving to Israel. I really hope you and your husband are enjoying living here!

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  6. Erin,
    I really don't know where to start.
    First of all english is not my native langage so please, be kind enough to forgive me if I make mistakes or if I don't use the appropriate words.
    I discovered a while ago your blogs while wondering around the web.
    Reading you and following your blog made somehow a kind of link, feeling like I knew a little bit you around the words.
    I just wanted you to know that you will be in my prayers.

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    1. Thank you Maya! I appreciate you keeping me in your thoughts. 24 weeks and holding on.
      Erin

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  7. Oh Erin! I'm thinking good thoughts for you & both ur babies! So sorry to read this news. Not much I can do for u over here, but if there is don't hesitate to demand it. Until then, I'll keep u & ur family in my happy thoughts.

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    1. Hey Anna! Yeah, a big bummer that my pregnancy turned into a high risk fiasco. Everything was going great until all of a sudden, the water broke. Out of nowhere. So consider yourself lucky for making it this for relatively easily! I'm convinced now more than other that every baby is a miracle. Still envisioning that our little guys will be able to meet one day. I'm 24 weeks and counting.

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